"You can't do backflips, you don't know karate, you're white trash!"

Song of the Post: Protest the Hero – Blindfolds Aside

                I thought it was over. The terror, the agony, the time wasted, the hatred, the anger, and all other negative things associated. But what would you know…it came back to haunt me away from the school environment. Are you confused yet? What was the worst thing about traveling to and from classroom and also around campus? Not just the school I attended, but every school. And now it’s becoming a problem at the work place… Still confused?

The ROLLING BACKPACK!!!!!!!!!!!!



Kids don't know any better



                This might be the most irritating thing that I can think of. It’s a back pack…with wheels. So in theory, it becomes luggage at that point or a rolling bag. It may have straps on it to hoist on your back when need be, but no one ever does it.  This contraption has been haunting me for the last five years, easily. Pushing the sixth year, I thought that I would have escaped this monster by growing up and getting a real job. A job where it is cool to carry your materials in a satchel or sling bag, a job where you are given the most up to date work pc, and not to mention, a job at the largest computer manufacturer in the world. (I think)

                How did I get to this point in my life to where I actually did not like a piece of technology that has come out in the past 7 years? Let’s dive into the many situations to where I derive my “really grinds my gears” attitude:



They do have some cool designs out there



My height, 6’3’’, allows me to have a stride like a gazelle. So naturally, I walk faster than most average height people. But that’s ok. I have had to force myself to slow my stride when cruising around. Would I rather not? Of course, it’s unnatural for me to walk slow and since I have the means to get somewhere quickly, might as well use my god given attributes.

Rolling bags are; bulky, too big, over stuffed, and clearly over used. When someone is dragging one of these “things,” It does a  few things:

1.  Takes up a wider range of space in a hallway or walkway
2.  Makes one person seem like 2 people
3.  Decreases walking speed because you have to drag a “weight” behind you
4.  2 or more of these things equals roughly three people’s widths
5.  People who drag them seem to not be in a hurry to get anywhere. They have an Austin driver’s attitude? Just enjoying the scenery.
6. They really should be used for people who really need them. Not some young, fit 30 year old man. “I’ll need that man card back sir.”
7. Should be limited to the airport restricted areas, because it is actually a piece of luggage

Ok so I could technically go on forever about this. But seriously people, do you really need to drag, and I really do mean drag, an oversized bag that has your work computer in it and maybe a charging cord? I saw a woman today on crutches, carrying a huge backpack. She had no help, no anything. She was toughing out her foot injury, carrying a purse and a loaded backpack. I would have thought someone like her would need wheels of some sort. This is the only way I can imagine it being appropriate at the work place.

Where was PETA when they took this picture?!

How I came to even begin this post was simple. Rolling backpacks did not become widely used until about 2005. (To my knowledge) I had seen them before but it usually was because teachers or professors used them to carry their school computers, graded papers, and then another bag full of newly printed assignments. So it was more like a dolly geared toward the academic environment. That’s fine by me. But once I got to the collegiate level of education, these things spread like the wildfires in the high seas. (Yes it doesn’t make sense; it is used to add dramatic effect) I could have sworn I saw at least 5-10 being carted into each auditorium that I had a lecture in, not to mention the beginning of a 5k weave through I had to maneuver just to get to my next class. These things really give a person a “second person” dimension. Once you start dragging it behind you, you really have the floor length of two people. “Good, Great, Grand, Wonderful!”

So yes I would say I am a person who has a place to be most of the time I am out and about doing activities. During my school years, I usually had to be at class or go to work. So I really had little time to waste getting my low impact cardio in for the day dodging these “rollers” as I will continue to refer to them. They really just get in the way. That is the bottom line. Unless you are carrying 20lbs of text books, put it on your back people. No wonder Americans are viewed so poorly. We take the easy way out. Not to mention we love our GMO’s and high fructose corn syrup. Makes my mouth water…SIKE!

Nerd Alert!

Recently discovered work findings have lead me to believe that nerds are just as lazy as us regular Americans. I was walking into work, around 8 a.m. as usual. Now I do have some leeway to when I exactly have to be there but I’ll admit, I am rarely here actually at 8. I am usually earlier. (You thought I was a non punctual worker) I digress. As usual I have a few doors I have to go through in order to get to my work area. Well who do you think was walking in front of me? Two “rollers.” Not one but two! Can you even believe this?! The walk way that is barely wide enough to fit two people my width has two people dragging bags behind them, creating a four person block. It’s not like I can walk around because there are bull pins of sales people on each side. It’s a straight shot to my office and I had to walk a combined total of close to four minutes to get somewhere I usually get to in about one.

“Whats the big deal DeeG you baby you had to take three more minutes out of your day to get to your desk?” Have you ever been behind some tourists who stop every 5 steps to take pictures or to read a guide? It’s terrible. It may be only a few moments or a minute here and there, but the incessant stopping and slow paced walking just is annoying. They just have to stop and see everything and talk about every detail. No worries about other people, the time is all about you. So yes it is a big deal even though it was just a 3 minute difference. It’s the pace. I can’t live life as slow as two dudes talking about sales figures drinking coffee and rolling bags…just not for me. I got numbers to crunch, spreadsheets to correct, and emails to blast.

Technology has come such a long way from the original laptop size. I do believe that my Dell work laptop weights under 5 pounds. Yes, it is lighter than most women’s purses. There are even Mac Book Airs that weigh less than 2 lbs. Not to mention, all the E-Readers, such as the Amazon Kindle, that weighs a pound…if that! Do you really need wheels on a 5 pound weight? Is it worth dragging a 10 lb bag with an extra 5 pounds in it? I’ll answer this one for you. No! Quit being lazy and use your appendages to do something other than click a mouse. “Get off your knees you’re blowing the game”



Be mindful of others. Or I will be forced to practice my People's elbow on the front of your face.



Am I the only person in the world that thinks this way? Or am I the only person who even cares enough to write it on their blog? I think it’s a little of both. But I thought you readers would get a kick out of my insight on these technological fails.

                                       FIN

Recipe of the Post: A weekend of warm cooked meals for this Texas cold



"Start spreading the news"

Song of the Post: Animals as Leaders – CAFO               

                It’s the new craze hitting the streets everywhere. Ok well maybe it is just something between a friend and me. But regardless, this is going to be the new new. What could I be talking about? Why am I so excited to attempt to spread something? Will it be as successful as bringing back gnarly or sike (California surfer spelling, not to be mixed with psych)?! I don’t even know the answer to those questions and I am the one attempting to answer all of them.

                Let’s talk about the events leading up to this wonderful word creation that has blessed my brain. I was getting some breakfast tacos at my local Tacodeli. Whatever you might think, Tacodeli beats Torchys any day. Just because it didn’t start out in a cool trailer doesn’t mean it’s not the best. Anyway I frequent this one location often and some of the people that cashier remember my name…or just look at my credit card every time. Either way it is always a good atmosphere and is very Austin-tatious. One of the managers there looks just like this musician Jonny Craig. Don’t get me wrong, JC is no super star or anything, but the man has a voice like an angel and probably guests on more tracks than Drake. Yes it is possible and because he is not a “top 40” guy, he still is heard by millions. The only way to describe JC is by a picture. I have seen him many times in concert and in interviews about him switching bands or going back to an original band. (Dance Gavin Dance to Emarosa back to Dance Gavin Dance) Below is a little samplet of his work.

Jonny Craig - Children of Divorce

                Enough with the obsession with music and artists. So I tell this guy:

                “You know you look just like Jonny Craig”

                “Oh really? Who is that?”

                “You know, Dance Gavin Dance, Emarosa, Isles and Glaciers…..?”

                “Those don’t ring a bell”

                “Well I suggest you look him up. At least you guys have the same ginger mullet”

                Say whaaaaaa?!?! A scenester doesn’t know who Jonny Craig is?! That’s like saying an Italian doesn’t know what mozzarella is. Absurd! I know plenty of people who don’t even know what kind of music he plays, but still know him or his voice. Now that the indie music scene has taken a choke hold on the city of Austin and surrounding “cool guy” cities, I guess I can understand how good musicians get swept under the rug. Not to mention ones that actually can sing.

                I immediately go to text my good friend who shares similar qualities and standards in music choices. I explain to him the situation and the greatest word baby was created.

SCENE CHECK!

                That’s right boys and girls. This is what I have been leading up to. A “scene check.”

                For this application, the literal term “scene check” works because this guy is definitely a “scenester” and should have known or been informed about all the associated material with the cool guy music “scene.” But the meaning of the phrase can go much deeper. It can apply to all sorts of situations, run-ins, trumps, clowning, degrading, embarrassing, or any other type of “check” you have to perform on one of your friends due to them being misinformed. Here is a good example:

You have a friend that is a bad story teller but no one wants to tell him/her that. So you let this person continue with their terrible stories that are never correct. You usually have to re-explain what really happened after this person is out of the room. But why wait?

“Blah blah blah blah I got really drunk last night and I didn’t do that. I was doing this and he was there and she was there and I was like ahhh and they were like ahhh”

“Actually none of that happened. You weren’t even there because I was with all of those people at the same time your story takes place…SCENE CHECK!”

                Ok I’ll admit that is not the best example I could come up with. But I’m sure you get the point. It can be used for all applications. Movies, video games, friends, parents, work, harassment…you know all those fun things where you like to correct people but never could. Well guess what readers, its ok now. Start correcting people. Start spitting out the truth instead of holding it in. Not only that, make sure you say “scene check” immediately following. This is the valid way I can think of setting an example. And if you need some help with the usage or the terminology, feel free to ask. I would be more than willing to help.

Recipe of the post: Primal Holiday Deserts...after the holidays

Updates:

Make sure to check the “Pages I Visit” section of this blog. I am beginning to build up all the sites I visit to share with everyone. It ranges from health and fitness, life, food, entertainment, music, and all sorts of others. It’s a good reference to just kill time or to be more informed.

"Music, a steady riot in my soul"

Song of the post: Big D and the Kids Table – Steady Riot 

For about the past 5-7 years, cell phones have been able to have their own, personal ring tones and in call tones. For the most part, it directly relates to the persons musical interest or is specific to the individual who is calling. With the inception of the Iphone/Itunes and a lot of ring tone making software, people have the freedom to choose which part of the song, audio clip, or recorded voice that is desirable. But recently, I have heard some questionable tones coming from questionable people.

                As everyone knows, I am a metal head. I listen to all genres of rock but mostly trend toward the harder side. Now this doesn’t mean I only listen to bands that scream or growl the entire time. That is “death” metal or “black” metal. Although I do appreciate the complexity and skill involved for creating such types of music, it isn’t for me. But I do enjoy a nice balance between hard core and harmonics. So this type of music is reflected in my ring tones. You will usually hear Thursday, Glassjaw, Saosin, (Anthony Green) Dance Gavin Dance, A Kiss for Jersey, or some other band I have chosen to represent people who call. Now I do occasionally throw in some old school Yungstar, Mase, Dr. Dre, or any of the various GOOD hip hop/rap lyricists simply because it is appropriate, again, for the individual.

                But as I was cruising around work the other day, and more importantly I was visiting the men’s restroom, I heard a faint noise coming from a nearby stall. It was a ring tone that I would have not expected to hear from any guy’s phone at work, let alone in the restroom. More importantly, I couldn’t figure out who the call was coming from. Most people respect the unofficial “work phone code” and do not make calls to personal lines during work. But the scene was quiet, and next thing I hear blasting at full volume is Lady Antebellum – Need you now. Well that threw me for a loop. I am not here to hate on the song or the musician because they are doing something I will never be able to do. Not the point at all. The point is, why does this guy:

1.       Have his phone on full volume during work?

2.       Have a song that is about 2 years old and considered “played out” due to radio popularity?

3.       Have it assigned to a person who might not be his wife?

4.       Not pick up right away or silence the call?

                This is no question to his manhood or anything that is connected to his masculinity, but come on guy. Silence that call. I am trying to use the restroom in peace. Just when I thought that song was gone from all stations on the radio and all dance halls, it came on at the one place that I thought I’d never hear it…work. “That boy ain’t right.”

                To redeem this guy’s terrible choice in a ring tone, I did hear something way cooler and way more fitting for the work environment. Today on my usual walk around the work campus, I overheard a familiar tone that was from my past and present. A simple, yet complex, sound of machines and human engineering. What might it have been you ask? It was the noise that comes from Transformers when they…transform. Any kid in the 80’s, 90s, and late 2000’s knows this sound. It is iconic especially to those who were dire fans from the original animated series. I thought to myself, “man that has to be the coolest ringtone of 2011 so far.” Good for that guy. Not only will his smart phone, which could potentially be turned into a robot in disguise as we have all seen from the movies, have a fitting “techy” tone, it is just downright cool.

                Not to mention, one of my best friends has one of the radical ring tones I have heard ever. It is a silenced pistol shooting off two shots with the shell echo in the back ground. I like to think of this tone as a recorded sound from everyone’s favorite game 007 Goldeneye. The Silenced PP7 was the preferred gun of Bond and using it in the game was just a testament of the user’s skill. Not only the iconic reasoning, but anyone who has shot, been around, or enjoys guns/pistols knows how cool it is to have it silenced. It makes you a silent killer. (Figuratively speaking) To silence a weapon in the real world is obviously illegal, due to the fact that you could go around blasting clowns and no one would know. Everyone knows that. But just imagine, if there was no consequence, I would for sure be one of the first to silence any weapon I have, for the “cool guy” factor. (Sidebar: Silencing a weapon decreases power and accuracy of a bullet. It is not recommended at any point other than to be “silent.” Had to clear that up)

                To those of you, who have personalized ringtones; go on with your bad self. It’s one of the few ways to express your music tastes publically and it allows you to make it more personal with your contacts in your phone. But I do caution everyone. Make it appropriate for your surrounding and be aware of who is listening. It might just cause mixed emotions about you to your friends or to complete strangers. You may be starting off on the right foot with someone new, or turn them away real quick like.

Note to those music lovers out there:

                Glassjaw is coming back to Texas! This is a once in a lifetime show and If you can make it, I highly suggest you go broaden your horizons with this band. Darryl Polumbo is one of the greatest musicians in the rock/hardcore genre and has been on the scene for over 10 years. He fronts Glassjaw and Head Automatica, not to mention all the producing he does in New York. I will do my best to make one of these shows but due to work limitations, I may not get to see them. It is ok because I did see them last time they came to Austin. Trust me you do not want to pass on this. Texas dates are:

                Dallas – February 19^th

                Houston – February 20^th

                San Antonio – February 21st

Recipie of the Post - Primal Beef Stew

Blog Updates!

o   New pages have been created above

o   I will be adding another with quick links to my favorite blogs/websites for reference

o   A song of the post will be added at the top of every post

o   A recipe of the post will be added at the bottom of every post

Como say what? Baking Powder?

               It’s that time again everyone. The most anticipated reality show since Steven Seagal Law Enforcement is back. And let me put it this way…I AM SO PUMPED ABOUT IT! You already know what I am referring to and I’m sure, judging by all the FB status updates, that everyone has already seen the first episode of Jersey Shore Season 3. To no avail, the first episode started off where it left off. For me, I really don’t care much about the “relationships” in the house outside of my favorite team, MVP. No one cares about how long Ronnie and Sammi Sweetheart have been “strong”, we just want to see action. But there is more to this post than just talking about the only show I look forward to until the next season of Its Always Sunny and the Office come back. Let’s dissect.

                Jersey Shore is one of those shows that make me think I can be famous for nothing at all. I mean I could party every day and work at a gelato shop with no shortness of breath. I could GTL every day with ease. I could do all of those activities they do, probably easier. I sit around my own house and do nothing for hours and I don’t even get paid. They sit around a renovated loft and stare into the ceiling and get thousands of dollars. Maybe if I renovated my house and put some trendy artwork, someone would want to film me do nothing.

                But the fact that people are famous for doing such shows really comes to no surprise to me. I just would like to be there with them honestly. What an easy life it would be. I think athletes have an easy life. Take for example football players; they play 16 games a year, practice for a normal “desk job” 8 hours a day, and live the life because they are famous. Why the hell is Vince Young being the biggest baby since Johnny Mcenroe was on the tennis circuit? The only difference between these two babies is that Mcenroe was exciting to watch and his antics were worth his complaining. It essentially made for good entertainment. But come on Vince. You have a college national championship ring, a diploma from the University of Texas, Chris Johnson as your right hand man, and millions of dollars. Yet you still complain about playing a sport that billions would give anything to do. Grow up clown. Reasons like this make me want to only follow games on Fantasycast instead of watching them.

                Back to the main point of this post. I have said for years that I would love to be on an MTV reality show. For three months, individuals get to be on TV and famous and watched by millions of people. How awesome would that be?! I think, regardless of how much hate surrounds reality TV, anyone would, in a heartbeat, take the offer if it was given. I know I would. Yes obviously there is more to life than being on MTV; such as having a career, family, friends, and a social life. But for three months you can’t stand and say “I would not like to live the easy life and be famous for it.” Not no one could say that…not no one (yes, my grammar is not correct because that’s how I would say it). Especially the Jersey Shore cast. Before this, the only person who was even known was Pauly D. He has been on the DJ circuit for years. But not only that, he represents Italy on all his equipment and also his skin. Disregard that stupid Cadillac ink he has on his side…his ride doesn’t even have wheels bigger than 20 inches. Really? Way to roll with the big guns.

                My favorite part of the show consists of two things; partying and fighting. Lets get into the specifics here:

Partying

• These people party every night it seems. I know everything is edited for TV and time constraints, but I do believe that it is possible that they party every night of the week. When you have no obligations besides working 3 hours at a t shirt stand, of course you will party.
• Not only do they party every night, they do it for free. Even when they are not on the show, people pay them tens of thousands of dollars to come party. Even better, club promoters blast their pictures on flyers and all sorts of electronic media to get more people to come. I am sure for their appearance; they get a cut of that as well. Sounds like a good solid 4 hours of “work,” if you ask me.
• When I party or attempt to party, I never seem to go as hard as them. I have a real, 8-5 job that I work during the week, and other activities I like to do. So yes, I will never be on their level. But cant a boy dream? If my 8-5 consisted of working out, tanning, doing laundry…I would love it. That’s really all these people do. They don’t sit and stare at spread sheets all day and listen to Corpo big wigs complain that a spreadsheet has too much information on it, they just enjoy the simple things in life.
• Everyone wants to be around them at the clubs/bars they go to. Now that they are famous, they are a big deal. The first season was understandable. No one knew who they were and that is why Snookie got blasted in the face. Even though, I’ll admit, none of the guys are that attractive, everyone wants to be around them because they are famous. Does that make them fake (the people who want to be associated with fame)? Most certainly. But I do think that it is an extension of their own life that the person would want to live, not what their everyday life is like. What’s a life without a little dreaming? BORING!
• It looks like they are having the time of their life. These kids, ok they are not kids but adults, look like they are having so much fun. I do not think that Vinny and Pauly D stop dancing the whole time. I’ve tried that…turned into a wet t-shirt contest…but that’s not attractive when it’s under my armpits or back sweat.  For them it doesn’t matter. Would a jewel encrusted shirt hide my sweat marks? Maybe some Ed Hardy dragons or tigers would do the trick. I’ll run some lab tests and get back to everyone.

Favorite party trio: MVP hands down.

I could go on forever about this diagnostic. But let’s move on to point two

Fighting

• Now I don’t mean relationship fighting. You don’t need TV to see that. Just take a look over your left shoulder and bam you got that situation. I mean altercations. A house with 4 tough guys, all juiced up on…juice, and clashing egos only mean one thing, there is going to be a brawl. But for me, this is the part that is the most entertaining. Just like in hockey. I don’t want to watch 3 hours of hockey when the score is only 1-0; I want to see some action. Best part is, they don’t break up fights until it hits the floor. Two guys could fight on the ice for minutes if they could stand up long enough. Now that’s entertainment. Same goes for me watching UFC. I don’t care how awesome that leg lock is or how great the execution is of a takedown. If a guy isn’t getting his face blasted in, I don’t care. I could watch two guys wrestle for free on the internet and probably get a nice surprise at the end of it. Do I do that, no, cause that’s not my style. I am just saying that the option is there.
• Apparently they are pushing the limits to what is shown on reality TV. Now girls are joining in the action. But for these Jersey Shore broads, their punches almost never land square on the others face. It may look like JWoww is throwing a nice right jab, but as we saw last night she missed. A slap in the face or hair pulling is just dirty fighting but highly entertaining. When there are baby Snooki fists flying around is when it’s exciting.
• For the guys, I am surprised that Ronnie and Mike are able to cock their fists in the ready position. Let’s face it, they are no Bruce Lee and cannot perform a punch with the same force from 2 inches than a fully reared back fist. But I would imagine getting hit with someone with that sort of mass would put me down…or anyone for that matter. It’s just science. But I rather enjoyed watching Ronnie ground pound that guy two seasons ago. I wouldn’t run my mouth on a guy, regardless of range of motion, who has 40 lbs on me. That’s just silly. But would I watch it happen to someone else and sit and think “man I am sure glad that’s not me?” You bet your sweet ass I would. It just makes for entertaining TV.

                The show is designed to involve no brain process at any time. It is not thought provoking, there is no scholastic value to it, and it doesn’t even report the news. But here in America, the greatest country in the entire world, it is one of the best guilty pleasures ever created. Just think, if people would just not eat so much sugar, but rather replace it with an hour of indulging in reality TV, maybe the would might not be so jacked up on short term energy. Yes we might be an hour lazier, but we would laugh more, have more in common with fellow man, and maybe learn something new about a different culture that we might not ever get to experience in real life.

…Chyeah right Chet...Who am I kidding…Reality TV is ruining America. But I still love it.

Jet Black New Year

Jet Black New Year - Thursday

Happy New Year from your favorite realist A.D.Deeg! I hope everyone had a great New Years Eve and also a New Years day. I am just now getting a break at work to write so it is kind of nice to be busy for once after 12 p.m. But that just means I have more time to think instead of doing work, which you all know I have. But his post is more about New Years and new things that I plan on doing and plan on improving.

Its the final count down

                In theory, I personally do not need a “new year” to start something new or to improve myself. I rather use it as a bench mark. Just like a lot of people start their “new” activity on a Monday or a Sunday, so the week is rounded and it is easier to track. For me, an entire year started on January 1^st. But I will get into what is starting new for me later in this post. For now, let us speak upon the topic of Partying.

                Best part about New Years last year was spending it with some of my best friends. But one of the most memorable things was partying at a venue that was considered “untouchable” before last year. The crew and I partied at the Seaholm Power Plant here in Austin and I must say, WOW. At the time, it was all new to me. Partying at a huge venue, on a big night, such as New Years, was just a crazy thought.  I was always the “house party” type or if I was in a relationship, the dinner/drinks type person when it came to ringing in the New Year. But last year marked a first for me and I can only assume for the other people in my crew. The night was just amazing. A little on the expensive side, but what do you expect? 2 dollar beers at a renovated power plant with near the amount of lights at a Ghostland Observatory concert? I don’t think so Tim.

                So moving on to this year’s celebrations, we (my crew and I) were blessed by the New Years Gods. Seaholm was hosting one more big party before they begin major renovations on the entire property. This means no renting of the space for quite some time and no big bashes to attend. So of course the crew was assembled, much like the news team was in Anchorman, and we set off on yet another great adventure.

                Now as always, the key to drinking and not driving is setting up drivers. We had thought ahead and ordered cabs for everyone way before we needed them. This way, all the ride situation was covered. Well what would you know, ordering 3 cabs under the same person apparently do not work correctly. CAB FAIL! But the ride situation was…situated so there was not much drama over that.

                Before going out, it is always a good idea to have a few drinks at the house, only when you have a sober ride down there. A.D.Deeg does not promote drinking and driving. So that is what I did. Everyone was toasting to the night with enough cheap champagne to fuel 10 high schoolers. Not to mention, all the tequila, whiskey, and vodka to keep the party going until the next year. (figuratively) So by the time I got down to the bash, I must say I was feeling great.

                So once we got there, the light show started. The venue was perfect. There were multiple bars set up, photo screens, mini food spread, and bathrooms located outside the building so that the funk would not mix with the funk on the dance floor. The stage itself was bigger and better than last year. The big hitters of the night were Ladytron and NASA. Both new to me, but played great sets along with great light shows.

                Well we all know what happens with me and big parties, and if you don’t, let it ride next time we are out. The drinks were reasonably priced so that was no big deal. I believe I spent more on transportation than I did on drinks. Something I am completely fine with but honestly do not prefer. So there we are, taking tequila shots, double fisting drinks because of the long lines, and living the dream. The New Year rolled around with a bang. Big lights, big music, and a lot of dancing and high fives floating around. What more could a boy ask for? I’ll tell you what…MORE DRINKS! Best part about buying rounds for 3 or less people is that you get your turn to not pay more often than you pay. So it works out in the end if you can keep track of your partners.

NASA lighting up the stage

                I worked my way up to the front of the dance floor and the stage. Crazy painted girls just flappin around all over the place. Big headed aliens jivin and breaking it down. The whole scene for NASA was just amazing. Not to mention the heightened fun levels I was experiencing at that point. Hanging with my best friend at the front of the stage for a good amount of time and not having a care in the world was one of the best ways I could have brought in the New Year. But then it hit me…

                The next morning I wake up, fully clothed, and fully shoed. WTF happened? At least I was home and safe. Our sober rides came through in the end so that was the best highlight of the night. The only problem is…I don’t remember anything after 1-1:30 a.m. I would call this a “brown out” because I do remember most of the night. Good thing for me is that I was safe and sound and sleeping as usual. I was just labeled the “drunk guy” amongst my crew. An honorable title to have but I have not held this prestigious position in quite some time. No time like the New Year right?

                So I nursed my hang over all day. Blah blah blah we have all been there. No use in talking about that boring part of the New Year. So now I can get into my own personal resolutions. Don’t have to hate on them because they are not yours…SO LAY OFF! Most of them are fitness/health goals just because it actually is the hardest thing I have done to date. So here we go

 Health and Fitness

• Bench Press 315 lbs
• Shoulder Press 185 lbs
•  Squat 350 lbs
•  Dead lift 325 lbs
•  Run a 5k under 20 minutes
• Rock Climb/Other Outdoor Activities
• Get better sleep
• 100% Paleo (+-5% for vacation and friends)

Other Resolutions/New Starts (starting today)

•   Be a better friend
•  Travel more to see friends
•  Travel more to broaden my horizons
•   Save more money and invest in common stock/Roth IRA/Savings
•  Let people do what they want as long as they are happy (with minor “ball busting”)
• Forgive but not forget
• (This is one of my Favorites) If a friend asks me if he/she should do something, i.e. buy a girl shots, take a piano class, attempt to do a backflip, I am going to say yes all the time. Not only will I say yes with confidence, I will follow that statement with something very encouraging and uplifting. “What do we say in this situation?” “Yes” – Dennis – Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia

                These are just a few things I am going to start to better myself. Not to mention keep up with this blog as often as I can. And stay busy at work more often. I am sure they love paying me to read Digg, Stock trends and Google news all day but it’s not the best use of my time…wait…is this blog a better use of said time?!

                Don’t worry faithful readers. I know there are some of you out there, maybe not many just yet but there will be. I will be back to the old game tomorrow with a juicy thought for the eyes and the brain. Because I know I am not the only one around here who likes to break a mental sweat.

Oldies but Goldies

             As 2010 comes to a close, I look back on all the things that have happened this year. More recently, I’ve been noticing a lot of news revolving around sports and celebrity figures that are getting much older and starting to show it. When will they call it quits from their current business endeavors? At what age is “too” old? Who will be the first to call it quits? These are just questions I can’t answer with modern science. It seems like the mind is over coming matter and more importantly age and vigorous activities. Let’s get a better idea of just who I am talking about.

            Brett “The Jet””Dick Pick” Favre

• Man does this guy have it bad or what. Played all of those years with the Packers and now is jumping from team to team trying to find a home. Did well with the Jets, but now seems to be stuck in Minne”snow”ta. Not to mention he was just slapped with a $50k fine for not complying with the investigation that would have proved him sending dick pics to the New York Jets reporter.
• First off, yes Brett you still are a decent quarterback, yes you still throw for more yards than Chris Simms (but who doesn’t?) and yes your wrangler jeans make it appropriate to play football in denim. But come on, you are 41 years old. That’s good enough in my books for a career in the NFL. Most players don’t make it past 10 years if they are lucky. There is a reason why Aaron Rogers is doing awesome as your replacement at Green Bay. He is young and full of testosterone and ready to rock. I gotta say, with these recent pictures surfacing…I can tell your storage is running a little low. Now you’re injured? Shouldn’t this add more fuel to your flame to “stay and play”? No! It should be a sign. How many more injuries are you going to risk your health for just to play one more game? What if you beat Dan Marino and Troy Aikman in concussions and have to resort to being the worst commentators in football behind Keyshawn Johnson (I actually like Troy’s reporting…doesn’t mean it’s good)? Will that be a good enough sign? There is plenty to do in retirement Brett. You could start a charity, sell more Wranglers, or be a family man…for once. Just enjoy the time where you can do whatever you want with your family and be happy.

Hugh Hefner

• I gotta give it to the guy. He just turned 84, got engaged, and has everything that a superficial and regular man could ask for. But when will there ever be a time when you want a break? 84 years old and still sexually active? Wow I am impressed and I won’t even deny it. Not only am I but every boy under the age of 13 wants to be you when they grow up. You are an innovator, a business man, and what seems to be, a “family oriented” man…regardless of how you define family.
• But seriously Hugh, take it easy. All those years of partying and drinking scotch has to catch up at some point. The human ticker just isn’t made like it is in the movies. Maybe even get a hover-round, like Deion Sanders, and save the pain walking around. Or maybe not make so many guest appearances to your parties but instead, enjoy a nice quiet evening at home and get a good night’s rest. That would really put my mind at ease about your well being.Maybe just ease up a little, so that we may enjoy you a little longer. Not to mention those wonderful publications and reality TV shows you so thoughtfully provide to the average Joe.

Joe Paterno

• Now I know half of you readers are saying to yourself, who the hell is Joe Paterno and why do you even care about him. Well you jabronies, Joe Paterno is the coach of Penn State football team and has been for over 40 years. He has a record of 401–134–3 regular season games, and a bowl record of 24–11–1. He is also one of three active coaches to be in the Hall of Fame. So there is your back ground. My point to this is, Joe you are 84 and coaching football. I am pretty sure high school coaches don’t even live to be close to that because they are too busy ripping souls out of poor kids trying to learn a life lesson in a sport. You are centered on the most high intensity sport in America, maybe even the world at some points (don’t confuse the Super Bowl with the world cup of soccer or even a UEFA Cup match). I mean really how many more “near” heart attacks can you have until it becomes real? We know you did take some time off the field and coached from the box a season or two ago, but there is no way that that was enough time.
• Penn State has actually had a turn-around in season records since 2004. Going to many bowl appearances and winning most of the time. But Joe, are you really hunting for one more national championship? Or are the 2 titles you already have enough? Because they are more than most coaches can dream about coaching a division one team.
• Personally, I think Paterno is a great coach. But I’d like to see him around a few more years.  So maybe, if someone could pass this along to him, not tear into so many young players hearts and verbally rip their faces off. I mean it is your job as a football coach. But with your current age and health status, I think a few less wouldn’t hurt anyone. Who knows you might give another coach the chance of a life time, to verbally rape a player without facing a real jury.

                So old guys in the spot light, we all still like you and we want you to hang around just a little more, even if it is to sell some tough “football ready” jeans, or even an adult magazine to some 12 year old boys. Just take it down from a 10 to a 9, so that you can continue to prosper.

Teenage Heart-Throb, Young Adult Idol

               Being a 90s kid, I woke up every Saturday to watch my favorite TV shows. So of course, most of them were cartoons and on Saturday, they were always new. Regardless of soccer games or whatever practice was scheduled, I always got up to watch my shows. And even now, I watch shows that remind me of the “the good ol days” and actually find them more enjoyable. Is it because of the adult content they plugged into each show that I was too young to notice? Or is it the simplicity of the writing that makes me still watch it today? No matter what it is, I still continue to watch.

                Ever since I had 8 am classes in college, and now that I have to be at work at 8, I wake up rather early. Let’s just say earlier than most of my friends can remember me rising from the dead. Good for me because I get the day started and I am awake. But the best part for me is the 2 hours every morning that are dedicated to the greatest teen show of the 90s, Saved by the Bell. This show has everything; cool guys, jocks, nerds, geeks, babes, life lessons, friendship, and all those other good things associated with high school…right? Well no normal high school is like that but some of the pieces are the same. But there is one character that makes that show work without flaw. Zack Morris. Yes he is obviously the main character, (Mark-Paul Grosselaar) but he is just so awesome that it is just worth dissecting his life on the show.

                As everyone knows, the early years, (middle school) and the later years (college years) were not the best of the show. The shenanigans were not as believable or even fun. There were too many life lessons. Almost like if Tyler Perry was white and wrote a TV show about young kids in different stages of school. But he really took shape in the high school years, which are everyone’s favorite. So let’s start from the top.

                His hair

·         “Feathered and Flawless.” I am pretty sure that Zack Morris always had the best and newest hair styles. Always a perfect part on one side and always gelled to perfection. Sleeking back the sides just topped it all off, with a short guard to shave each side of his head. A classic 90s move in hair styling. I am pretty sure I had that look at some point as I am sure you did too. Even in the college years, he had the longer, Tom Brady style hair. When you have a mane like that, it’s better to grow it than blow it.

90s attire

·         This just screams out 90s from all angles. Tucked in T-Shirts, high waisted jeans, sweaters and shirts with crazy patterns and color schemes just to name a few. There was no way around it, he was the epitome of style. Not to mention his high tops that came back in style recently. Reebok and Nike wish they would have signed a deal with him, because he was always sporting their shoes over his jeans. Yet another classic 90s move.

Technology

·         Zack had all the correct up-bringing. His dad was a successful computer salesman, his best friends Screech had a talking/thinking robot, he had unlimited access to the coolest phone ever invented …what more could you ask for? Not only that, growing up in California yielded the perfect surroundings for all the gangs fun and adventure. All of which he planned himself. Probably using a computer, I’m sure. Not to mention the cost of computers then were probably the amount of a small car loan. But since his dad was number one in the company, it never became an issue.

Money

·         I am pretty sure that Zack’s pocket book could be described by modern day rappers as “pockets stuck on overload, my rain never evaporate.” It never was an issue. Yes, he did bet constantly to increase his wealth. But who doesn’t do that already. The more money you have, the more risks you take. Granted the bet amounts with A.C. Slater were for nothing more than 50 bucks at a time, but that went a little further back in the early 90s. Back to the dad thing, since Zack did not work and obviously did not pay for that cell phone bill, I can only imagine that dad was the financial backing for everything. Especially for all those dates he went on. It seems like every episode, more toward the end, the Macks appeared to step up pricing and Zack was stepping up his dating game. Thanks a lot Kelly Kapowski for making Zack drain his allowance all on you.

Brains

·         Zack scored a 1502 on his SAT. Como say what? Baking powder? Some people just have it all. He also knew how to manipulate every game and bet he was in. It did not always work out in his favor, but he always had his hand in the game some way or another. Maybe the creator of “the game”? The world may never know.

Babes

·         I use this term because it was the exact phrase used throughout the show and also in the 90s to refer to good looking women. Let’s just say that there was no limit to the amount of girls Zack had. If she was new, she was on a date with Zack instantly. Even if the person casted had been an extra on the show for years, she was always deemed a “hey baby” look from Zack at some point. But do you ever wonder exactly what Zack had done with each girl? Was he just a womanizer, using each one for sex and pleasure? Or was he a gentleman, taking each girl on a date and treating them correctly? Maybe things did work out every time (they never did) and he was just “friends” with each girl after. Who knows?! Nobody will ever know that one. There were no signs of what really went on after the Macks or after that movie date. Zack even scored with a college girl and utilized a fake idea to party at the Attic. Good  for him.



Yes please!



Kelly Kapowski

·         Babe of all 90s teen babes. She played every sport imaginable at Bayside. Captain of the 3 girl cheerleading squad (like she couldn’t beat out Lisa), all star volleyball player, softball ace, this girl had it all. Not to mention she was the “one” for Zack. Just took a few goons she dated to get it out of her head that there was no other like Zack.

Notable achievements

·         Not to mention his almost perfect SAT score, Zack also birthed a baby in an elevator, saved animals from an oil spill, created buddy bands (the hottest selling item since the slinky), and he was also in the famous band Zack Attack. Do you think Screech could write a song like “friends forever”? I think not. No nerd could ever be that creative and look that good. All while making it to school on time because…you guessed it, he was saved by the bell.

                This character had many facets to him. All of which everyone knows. But do you really sit and think about what made him successful? Maybe I just really like the show and that’s why I think about it. Or maybe I wanted to be Zack in high school. Probably not the second part but he was really cool. Right? If Zack was a real person, would you want to be in his crew? I know I sure would.

Here’s to you Zack Morris, may your name live on forever in the halls of Bayside and in the halls of our young, teenage 90s hearts.